Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales – Movie Review

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is a 2017 adventure/fantasy film directed by Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg, and is the fifth installment in the Pirates of the Caribbean film series and the sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011). The film stars an ensemble cast including Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Geoffrey Rush,  Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, and many more. The film follows Captain Jack Sparrow as he searches for the trident of Poseidon while being pursued by an undead sea captain and his crew.

So this film series means a lot to me as I’ve followed it since the beginning. I can remember going with my entire family to see these films and being blown away by their comedy, romance, and epic moments of CGI. As the tradition continues, I began to ask myself how much longer can I keep bring my family to these movies? I loved the original trilogy of this franchise, but ever since Stranger Tides this film series has definitely seen better days. Dead Men Tell No Tales was a hard film to review as it is a part of something I care deeply about, but for the sake of the review I’m just going to let the original trilogy have that special place in my heart, as these past two films are some I would rather forget.

So what pushed me so far away from this film series then? Right off the bat, the acting was just horrendous. Johnny Depp was fine, but his character has seemed to have developed in a way that contradicts his original purpose, and even Geoffrey Rush has had better moments in the previous films. None of the new cast was outstanding nor memorable, and the sad part about that is due to the fact that these are fairly good actors. Dead Men Tell No Tales seemed to try and push the old cast aside to make way for a new generation of pirates, but I never felt like the old ones were that old either. There weren’t any memorable character arcs, and the ‘huge’ reveal at the end was so badly foreshadowed that literally a four-year-old could have called it. Seriously, the characters were completely forgettable, and a lot of that can be contributed to its passable script and writing.

Speaking of writing this film features one of the most basic plots, and never challenges the audience in a way like the other films did. There was never really any danger setup through the entire film, and in a series full of magical characters and mythical beings, I continually felt like they might have taken it a little too far in this one. I don’t know guys.. there just wasn’t much to this film. Sure it had its hilarious Depp moments and over the top swashbuckling fun, but nothing was memorable like in the way that the original trilogy was.

Another major let down for me was mainly the film’s use of CGI. Now of course a lot of this film has to be shot on a green set or with CGI, but the thing that killed me about this movie was that the originals used a bunch of practical ships and props, while this one was incredibly CGI heavy. Like the ships weren’t as convincing as previous films, and even the water wasn’t as polished as it has been in other films. I don’t know.. I just wasn’t impressed by the way this film looked. Sure it had the cast from the original movies, but boy oh boy did it not feel like something from the same series. I guess the thing that bothered me the most about this movie was its soundtrack. Of course you all should know by now that I am a huge Hans Zimmer fan, and to learn that he was not going to be doing the soundtrack to this film was heartbreaking. Zimmer’s original touch was first heard in Dead Man’s Chest (2006) and was honestly one of my favorite scores, and he ultimately ended up continuing his work on the series all the way through On Stranger Tides. Sure Geoff Zanelli’s score didn’t radically change the the tone of the general theme or anything, but you could definitely tell that this film just didn’t have the Zimmer touch.

Sadly, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales was just a mediocre film from a dying series of great films, and this film honestly brings nothing new to the table for this series. In a time full of cinematic universes, and unnecessary reboots, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales doesn’t do anything special to wow audiences like it originally did almost 15 years ago. The film was full of mediocre acting, writing, visuals, and music, and is a film that will honestly just end up being forgotten like the film that came before it. In the end I decided to give Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales an “Alright” on theVade Review Bar. It’s heartbreaking to say, but I have to agree with what Mark Kennedy from the Associated Press said about this film. “After this fifth episode, you’ll wish Disney would just declare the franchise dead and tell no more tales.”